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My mother-in-law and flat-screen televisions

My brand brain hurts.

Remember when Johnny Carson would take vacation and Jay Leno or someone else would host the show instead? That concept is known as a guest-host.

In November, my parents-in-law visited Costa Rica for a month, pioneering the post-modern concept of a host-guest. This would be akin to Johnny Carson being interviewed by Jay Leno during one of the guest-host stints, and telling Leno all the things he’s doing wrong with his show.

Since we’re staying at their house for a year at a very reasonable rate,  let me preface this comment by saying I think my parents-in-law are great, but a host-guest situation would be difficult for anyone to handle. I couldn’t imagine the things I would say to our tenant in England if she had us over at her (our?) flat for a week.

One example of host-guest-ness: one of the things taken in the September burglary was my parents-in-law’s lovely Sharp 32″ LCD TV.  Expatriates in Costa Rica have a special name for flat-screen TV’s: Burglar Bait. They’re big and expensive, but surprisingly portable, with excellent resale value.

When deciding on a replacement for the stolen flat-screen, I opted for a regular (non-burglar-bait) heavy LG television. My rationale:

  1. It’s way heavier than a burglar bait TV

  2. It’s a “thin-profile” standard TV, meaning it fits nicely on the piece of furniture previously hosting the flat-screen.

  3. The local cable company doesn’t supply an HD signal, so we would have to watch standard broadcasts anyway. And those in the know know standard broadcasts look better on old TV’s than flat-screens.

  4. I have yet to find a Costa Rican retailer that sells Blu-Ray DVD players or Blu-ray DVD’s, which look good on flat-screens. Regular DVD players playing regular DVD’s try to look good on flat-screens, but typically look a bit crap.

A few days after the robbery, I confirmed on the phone with my wife’s mother that this would be ok.

On her first evening as host-guest in November, she denied all recollection of such confirmation. She said it didn’t look good.  I explained my logic of (a) the HD futility and (b) the burglaristic danger of flat-screens in Costa Rica (as above).

Her response: “I don’t really care what it looks like on. I want a TV that looks good when it’s off.”

Ouch.

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